The Night Before Christmas

A Crime Prevention Spoof on a Christmas Classic
By Melissa Somers, Director CPP SoCal

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the yard Not a creature was stirring not one hat that was hard.

The backhoes were nestled Locked up and in place With no employees in sight Not even one trace.

When out in the street there arose a slight clatter A thief in the night looking for targets that mattered.

A cut in the fencing the thief quickly did make Leaving a hole in security in his devious wake.

The moon shining down on the quite yard was a sight Illuminating, just enough, the equipment at night.

Then what to your shock and dismay did appear? But a crook, creeping ‘round in your yard, far and near.

So rapid and stealthy the bad guy did lurk And a flashlight in hand he started his search.

With John Deere, Caterpillar, Case and JLG Bobcat, Kubotoa, Komatsu and JCB.

In sight, plain as day, the equipment did stand Now defenseless, it seemed; No prevention; no plan.

A backpack of tools the thief slung on one shoulder And his eyes danced with glee at a sea of skip loaders.

The crook, he had plans of acquiring some cash By stealing equipment to add to his stash.

“I’ll move it so quickly from your yard to a taker, Or park it to cool in a small town like Baker. I can sell it on Craig’s List, Offer Up or Ebay” The crook didn’t care if he ruined your day.

Deeper into your yard, the thief continued to wander With a jackpot in mind and the money he’d squander.

The thief’s eyes, how they twinkled; His smile – a smirk. He approached a lone Bobcat and got straight to his work.

His shifty gaze started to look the piece over ”This will be better than stealing a dozer; It’s worth a great deal and it’s easy to transport I’d better get moving” He said with a snort.

The crook’s wicked mind was set on stealing that night Until he laid eyes on what caused him a fright:

A bright, shiny decal did shine in its place
A reward could be paid if one helped them to trace
An offender that messed with your company’s stuff
“I surely don’t want to end up caught or in cuffs!”

He went back to work in spite of his fears Imagining next, he’d pursue a John Deere.

To the next piece he scurried and much to his chagrin It had another number stamped far and near – an OAN*!

The Hotline number shone on the CPP decal so clearly The thief began feeling less sure; a bit leery.

He went back to work starting to question his heist “Surely no one would answer that hotline number at night..”

Onward, he scrambled his hopes still quite high Til he noticed the decal again and then sighed, “I thought this could be a quick way to make cash but I’m not gonna mess with it”. His teeth he then gnashed.

“That Hotline number is posted everywhere, it does seem”, Said the thief before deciding to end his great scheme.

A blink of his eyes and a scratch of his head The Bad Guy then grabbed his backpack and fled.

Through the yard then the fence the crook quickly did flee Concerned with being caught all because of CPP.

And I heard exclaim, screeching away with no cheer, “MERRY CHRISTMAS FOR NOW I’LL RETURN AGAIN NEXT YEAR!”


*OAN – Owner Applied Number

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